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Drunken Decor

Drunken Decor

Just because you like to take a sip of the old hooch every once in a while doesn’t mean you can’t do it in an attractive and comfortable home. Try these tips for creating a space which will cater to your addictive style

Liquor Cabinet Fabulous

If you are going to be a drunk you might as well do it stylishly. This makes where you store your liquor particularly important. There is a vast difference between keeping your alcohol in a solid oak cabinet with matching a wine rack, and just leaving it in a plastic bag on the counters.

You have many choices when selecting a storage method. Cabinets and racks come in various woods and metals. You may want to consider a bin that can cool itself down, if white wine or beer are your favorite beverages.

Whichever storage method you choose, be certain to put your best face forward. Line up your premium bottles in a neat row in the front, and relegate mixers and bottom shelf bottles to the back of your case. This will help to make you look like you have taste. You do have taste don’t you?

Your liquor set up should also have all of the necessary tools of a proper alcoholic. You will want a martini strainer, an ice bucket, a complete set of interesting or attractive shot glasses and, depending on how often you entertain, a full line up of lemons, oranges, and mints to make the most exotic of drinks. (Please note, fruit will go bad, don’t store it in a cabinet for months unused.)

Bottle Décor

Once a bottle is empty, it is not necessarily useless. Liquor companies have spent millions of dollars making us believe that their bottle is an attractive piece of home décor, and it has worked! Today it is not uncommon to see rows of grey goose, and patron, conspicuously devoid of their contents, gracing window sills and mantels across the nation.

However if you are a creative drunk there are many ways you can use your bottles that go beyond simple display. One popular choice is to turn them into candle holders. If you place colorful tapered candles into the mouth of the bottles, the wax will run down their sides when lit, coating them in a colorful skin. Try using a different color each time for a unique effect.

If you have a wide mouth bottle, you can also drop tea candles into its belly, and light them with a stick. Depending on the color of the bottle, you can get some really interesting effects with the flame flickering inside of it.

Please note for those of you who are drunk, fire does burn, and it will destroy your home. Please have a sober person light and care for all of your candle needs.

A Comfortable Home to be Drunk in

One of the most important aspects of a drinker’s home is that it is comfortable to be drunk in, not only for you, but for intoxicated friends as well. That is why it is important to design a space that makes it easier and more relaxing, to stumble around half blind in.

The first thing you want to do is make sure there is a couch or arm chair close to the front door. If you’ve ever come home drunk at 3 AM and fallen asleep on a hallway floor you will know why.

A good drunken décor will actually have comfortable couches, and sleeping places all over. That way the undiscerning drunk can take his or her leisure wherever they like. Scattering pillows and blankets around makes floor sleeping easier as well.

Another aspect of decorating for the drunk is protecting your possessions. The intoxicated are clumsy, and if you leave a $40,000 Ming vase right by the front door on a wobbly pedestal, they will break it. That is why you should leave expensive items higher up, on the top row of shelves, bookcases, and on mantels. This puts them effectively out of reach.


It isn’t difficult to create a drunken décor, you just have to treat yourself like a child, keeping dangerous items out of place, and leaving yourself lots of spaces for naps. Luckily, living in the intoxicated age we do, nobody has to hide the fact that they enjoy the bottle, and in fact we can decorate our homes in such a way that it shows our pride.

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